Give Me Love
by Twilight Devote
Summary: Bella had forgotten a lot about her life before Forks (by choice) but memories tend to pop up when you least want them, especially right before your eighteenth birthday. (sexual assault (mentions) slight ptsd, slight depression/anxiety) Cullen's are vampires and Bella is human. (
1. Chapter 1

**PRELUDE**

 **A/N: this isn't really a chapter, the next will be longer I just wanted to write something small that would throw you into the middle of the story.**

 **Takes place a few weeks before Bella's birthday.**

* * *

Why was this happening now? I thought I had dealt with this ages ago. But for some ungodly reason the darkest of memories that I buried deep in my brain escaped this morning. Blue eyes and light blonde hair kept dancing around in my head, I want to throw up but I had already done that today- twice. I needed him, but he wasn't here.

"Bella, are you okay? Should I take you to the nurses office?" My good friend Angela asked from behind me.

I could picture his uneven teeth and his chubby cheeks.

"I think that'd be best" I told her then started biting at the dry skin on my lip.

"Mr. Greene?" Angela called, he paused mid-lecture, he looked pissed to say the least, once he realized it was Angela his face softened.

"Bella isn't feeling well, may I take her to the nurse?" Angela asked sweetly.

"Of course, let me get you a hall pass" Mr. Greene spoke and started rummaging through his desk drawer.

I stood up and thanked Angela, and we walked slow and silently on our way to the nurses office.

I parked the car in front of my home, the nurse said I was running a fever and gave me two Tylenol, I couldn't stop shaking, I didn't bother removing the keys from the ignition because no one would steal my truck.

I don't really remember leaving my truck but here I stood in my room, it had started raining at some point because the water pelted my window, the room was almost completely dark. I walked over to the light switch, my legs were sore and flipped it on. Edward was gone until tomorrow, or late tonight- I should call him but he needed to feed. My old bedroom, the white walls with fairy posters on them irritated my vision. Why did this have to happen now? I finally had someone enchanting in my life, and friends that weren't like her. I felt numb but a shot of anger would chase it away. I grabbed the lamp off of my desk, I threw it against my hardwood floor, the top popped off with a loud crack, the top half rolled until it went under my bed, I could feel my heart beating inside my chest.

I took my arms and swiped everything off of my dresser, papers flew around my feet and my computer fell with a crash- I could hear the screen crack. I went into my closet and threw all my clothes everywhere, along with the shoes and books that were in the floor. I marched over to my bed and ripped off the bedding and grabbed a pillow that fell to the ground. I didn't have to worry about Charlie because today was Friday and he left on a weekend long fishing trip with Harry Clearwater.

I stepped into my closet and closed the door, the light poked through the slits in the door, I curled into a ball in the floor, I stuck the pillow under my head and wrapped the blanket around me. I cried, tears fell down my cheeks but not once did I make a sound.

I wished Edward would come home, but then again I wished he wouldn't.


	2. outcome

I was sleeping peacefully, dreaming of nothing but black, I was a dull star lost in the deepest sea of space. Then I felt cold arms wrap around me picking me up from the sea's warm embrace.

"It's okay" He whispered "I have you"

I felt cold lips press to my temple, I wanted to open my eyes but I was to tired, I snuggled into his shoulder and fell back into the numbness.

._.

I could feel the uncomfortable leather of Edward's couch under me, my body was sticking to it from sweat. I could hear the rain pounding against the glass windows a loud echoing sound of thunder made me open my eyes. Edward was standing by Carlisle his face looking solemn then he was right beside me so fast it made me wonder if he even was talking with his father figure.

I raised myself onto my arm shuffling the blanket off, my chest felt sore with every breath I took, my head was spinning and the heat made me fairly uncomfortable.

Edward ran his cool hand across my forehead. I let out a sigh as his artic hand touched my fevered skin, lightly I leaned into his touch as he cupped my face.

"Your fever broke" Edward stated aloud for my behalf or letting Carlisle know.

"I'll go turn the heater off" Carlisle told us softly for my benefit and exited the room.

"How do you feel?" Edward asked as I tried to adjust that way my ribs wouldn't hurt. Now that he asked I could feel my dry lips and a slight headache.

"I could use a glass of water?" I asked him, as I spoke I could feel my throat burn, it felt dry. Like when I was a child and visited the beach with Renee and swallowed to much salt water and got sick.

"I'll be back" Edward told me softly leaving the room in a blur, I sat up slowly it felt like I just used all of my energy I leaned up against the back of the couch my t-shirt clung to my chest. The room started to cool now that warm air wasn't being pushed around. I tried to remember how I got here, the sun was almost set, lightning lit up the room for a moment then it faded back to a more dark sky, it was still twilight; everything had a blue hue to it. Edward came back with a glass of ice and a off purple colored liquid was in the glass.

Edward smiled _not reaching his eyes,_ sensing my nervousness about the drink, it must've been written across my face.

"It's Gatorade the electrolytes will help hydrate you quicker" Edward told me handing the glass to me, I took two big sips I scrunched my nose at the sour taste but I already felt better, I could feel it run down my throat and throughout my chest.

"How are you?" Edward asked studying my face intently. I felt like the whole house was waiting for my response, the floors, the glass wall, the carpet and possibly 7 other vampires. I wonder if the rest of them canceled their hunting trip?

"Tired" I told him honestly taking another drink blinking a few times to try and open my eyes. A clap of thunder made me flinch almost spilling my drink, Edward rested his hand on my knee sitting with his legs crossed. Under his eyes looked slightly purple still, I reached out and rubbed them his eyes closed, a low sound came from his chest.

"You didn't finish hunting" I stated not trying to take the sad edge out of my voice, I hated when he left.

Edward shook his head grabbing the hand that was touching his face into his hands and played with my fingers.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Edward asked.

I looked out at the storm outside, it was becoming almost to dark for me to see much. I tried to remember what happened but my mind couldn't conjure up a clear memory. I remember Angela taking me to the school nurse, but it was like my memory was being seen through a filter. Like I was trying to remember a dream or something. I remember throwing picture frames... I think. I do remember falling asleep in my closet. It made me feel safe in there.

"Say something, _please_ " Edward begged, I turned to look at him, his face looked pained.

"I don't really remember" I told him honestly.

He rested his forehead on my knee letting go of my hand, I placed my hand in his hair playing with it.

"How bad was it?" I whispered biting my lip. His head shot up my hand falling into my lap.

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something then closed it. This happened a few times then he finally spoke

"What's wrong my love?" He asked his eyes full of compassion, he reminded me of Carlisle in this moment.

I brought my knee up and rested my head on it, setting the glass on the table beside the couch. I couldn't tell him, it made no sense for him to love me now... how could he love me if I told him what resided in the dark corners of my mind?

"Nothing" I told him softly, then his control fled. His nose flared and his eyes seethed with anger.

"Isabella, don't lie to spare my feelings.. _please_ " Edward spoke slowly trying to control his anger.

"I don't want to talk about it" I told him childishly, being stubborn was my favorite past time.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose breathing in deeply.

"We will have to talk about it sometime" Edward argued.

"Why now? Can't it wait awhile" I asked him as another crash of thunder echoed outside making me jump again, Edward studied me. I wish he could read my mind this once that way he would know I'm not jumpier than normal.

"Alright" Edward agreed. "Please drink more"

I took the glass and drank a few more sips. His eyes were promising I couldn't get out of this one.

"Carlisle would like to check your health, make sure you're alright" Edward told me rising on his feet offering me his hand. I took my last sip of my drink and took his hand. He pulled me into a hug that last for a long moment then led me to Carlisle office.


	3. speaking

**This chapter starts off light, I didn't want this story to be to dark.**

 **This scene takes place three days after Bella's meltdown.**

* * *

I sat in the Cullen living room with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper the t.v. was turned down that way it was only a hum in the background. Emmett was sat on the couch by me, we were both turned facing each other Rosalie was sitting behind Emmett looking through a car part catalog. Alice has her legs tucked under her on the loveseat sewing a pair of pants, her hands moving to fast for me to keep track what she was doing. Jasper sat still beside her, his eyes on Emmett also a small smiled danced upon his face.

"We should have code names for each other, that way we can go by something beside our names" Emmett carried on smiling, using his large hands to talk with.

"Like nicknames?" Rosalie spoke from behind her husband.

Alice rolled her eyes but she smiled at Rosalie's comment.

"That doesn't sound as cool" Emmett argued.

"What is my codename then?" Rosalie asked looking up from her book to watch the back of her husbands head. Emmett seemed like he was focusing for a second.

"TimTam" Emmett finally spoke smiling wide, he looked over his shoulder at her, she smiled at him, her eyes were soft.

"I hate you" She told him half heartedly.

Jasper was laughing, which caused me to giggle and Alice roll her eyes again.

"Keep laughing Toni Tony Macaroni!" Emmett called to his blonde brother.

Jasper's face fell, me, Alice and Rosalie busted into a fit of giggles.

"That is not my codename" Jasper argued.

"Hmm, wanna bet?" Emmett asked then wiggled his eyebrows.

"Why are the nicknames- sorry codenames, dealing with food?" I asked Emmett, he just shrugged.

"Do you not like Toni Tony Macaroni?" Rosalie asked, a smile still on her face. I think this is the first time she was ever nice to me, it caused me to flush.

"I love it" I told her.

"Yeah Soul Sister knows what she is talking about" Emmett said pointing his thumb in my direction, I couldn't fight my smile.

"Not funny" I told him.

"Edward will rip your arm off" Alice spoke giggling a little.

"Okay a little distasteful. I will only call you that when Edward is not around... sometimes. We need a better codename" Emmett said stroking his invisible beard.

Carlisle, Esme and Edward came down the stairs, Esme was smiling she must've been listening to our conversation. Edward looked stressed, I gave him a small smile, the corners of his lips turned up slightly.

"Can I pick yours?" I asked him, looking away from Edward.

"Sure" Emmett said, I noticed Alice has stopped sewing.

"Okay I was think steamer pack" Emmett smiled "But I think Beef Cake is better" I laughed. Rosalie barked out a laugh.

"Don't fill his ego, Bella" Jasper told me.

"It might get as big as Rose's" Alice giggled.

"Leave TimTam alone" Emmett argued with Alice.

"Esme is Angel Dust" Emmett continued.

"Emmett that's a dr-"

"I know this, it's cause she's irresistible" Emmett spoke trying to earn Esme's acceptance for her codename.

Esme just rolled her eyes and grabbed Carlisle hand.

"Emmett that one is stupid" Alice told him.

"Keep talking Sassy Potato" Emmett laughed.

"I am not going to be called Sassy Potato!" Alice cried, Emmett just shrugged.

"Edward is Sour Dough Bread" Emmett declared, earning a laugh from Jasper. I didn't smile at this one.

"Emmett, that isn't nice" Esme said.

"What is Carlisle then?" Jasper said changing the subject, I didn't need to be a mind reader to know Jasper liked Edward's codename.

"Grocery bag" Emmett stated looking thoughtful.

We all just gave him a look.

"You know he's always full of what you need, like advice... Or in Bella's case a medical degree" Emmett laughed, I heard Edward make a sound of protest but this didn't stop Emmett's joy.

"Bella can I talk to you upstairs?" Edward asked. I nodded and stood up.

"Good luck Lean Cuisine" Emmett told me.

I groaned. I was happy though Emmett thought enough of me to give me a nickname like his family. I bit my lip as Edward took my hand and walked Bella speed with me up the stairs. His bedroom door was open when we reached it, he shut it behind us.

"I don't know why you do that" I told him honestly.

"Do what?" Edward asked confused, I felt bad for snapping at him.

"Shut the door" I told him, I could practically see the light blub above his head turn on.

"They won't listen" Edward told me, leading me to his couch. I played with the loose string on my shirt biting my lip.

"I will listen" Edward whispered, I could feel his cold breath fan over me.

Past memories danced in my brain like a cut skit in fantasia. I have everything I could want, a perfect boyfriend, a healthy body... Edward. I could tell him, yes. He has told me he loves me no matter what numerous of time, why would he not love me after I spilled my guts? Because this was life, no matter how much I felt like I was a living breathing fairytale, the snow white of Forks, Washington- I wasn't, what happens when the Prince finds out about Snow White's past, does he still marry her? Does he wake her with true loves first kiss? Maybe, probably. I could throw me and Edward's future away for the sake of a maybe. I wasn't Renee, I wasn't selfish and I made mature decisions. I was not flighty and I put a hundred percent into my relationships.

"If you don't let it out, it'll eat you alive" Edward told me, I forgot where I was for a moment.

I looked up at him, his coal eyes looking back at me. I loved him very much.

"I'm scared" I told him in a whisper.

Panic filled his eyes, then self-loathing then back to worry, he leaned back a little.

"Not of you Edward... well necessarily" I told him honestly.

He scooted closer to me, tracing my jawline with his fingertips.

"I'm supposed to be the cryptic one, remember?" He asked.

Memories of irritated lunch dates with Edward swirled in my mind.

"What if I'm a bad person, Edward?" I asked him, I felt like I said to much but not enough. His head fell to the side as he studied me.

"Bella, you could've killed a thousand people I would still love you, you could have totaled my Volvo and the only anger I would have is that you put yourself in danger" Edward told me humor danced off his tongue.

I started crying then, I covered my face with my hands as my shoulders rock. I think this is the second time I've cried in front of him.. Once in his Volvo coming home from Port Angeles and now. I could feel Edward grow stiff next to me. He ran his fingers through my hair kissing the hands that were covering my face. He took his free hand and lightly pulled on my hand.

"Tell me what hurts you, I'll take the pain away" Edward promised with pain in his voice.

I cried for a few minutes until I was able to control myself again, my breathing was just labored. I finally uncovered my face.

"Promise you won't leave" My voice cracked as I grabbed a fist full of his t-shirt.

Panic filled his eyes and features "I swear" Edward told me.

"When I was younger.. well I guess kind of always, I used to get these anxiety attacks. At first the doctors thought it was asthma, which I did have but, I don't know. Then when I was around fifteen I started checking out. I would have memory of what I had done for the last few hours. Then when the attacks would get really bad I would black out or get sick. It was scary. I used to see a therapist... I'm broken Edward.. how could-" I cut myself off and took a few deep breaths

"I thought they went away, but I guess I was wrong" I told him, he watched me closely then pulled me into a hug.

"My sweet, sweet Bella. I love you, I'm sorry you have that happen" He whispered rocking me softly.

A few moments of silence passed.

"What.. what else?" Edward spoke, I guess I was becoming easier to read.

"Edward?" I asked him my voice cracking.

"Yes?" He asked me curiosity filling his tone.

"I h- I was.. It.. I wassexuallyassaulted" I spoke quickly fumbling over my words, I held my breath as I waited.

The whole house was silent, eerily silent.

Then Edward did the last thing I expected but somehow the most thing I expected.


	4. close

Edward set me on the couch softly then he was gone, I was frozen I felt like I couldn't breathe, I didn't want to. Then I heard a loud shattering sound from downstairs making me jump. I screwed up, I shouldn't have said anything, now something is nice and Esme will probably clean it up... I should be the one to clean it up, it is my mess. I pulled my knees up to my chest my heart beating loudly, I could feel it my throat. I tried to listen for any sign of life anywhere downstairs. Nothing. I felt like a weed growing in a flower bed, ruining the whole aesthetic of the whole thing.

I heard a door slam, did Edward leave? I started to breathe heavy, I need some fresh air or I was going to go into a bad place. I stood up going into autopilot, I walked to the bathroom at the end of the hall shutting the door, I turned the sink on making sure the water was cool, when I glanced into the mirror my eyes your wild, my lips- my whole face was swollen. My cheeks, neck and chest was a bright pink color. I splashed the cold water onto my face, it took my breath away for a moment but it gave me the control to put it back into rhythm, I splashed my face a few more times, then I turned the tap off grabbing a hand towel out of the closet drying my face off, I heard a light knock on the other side of the door, I didn't jump thankfully.

"Bella?" I heard Emmett on the opposite side of the door.

"Uh.." I cleared my throat trying to fight back the tears. "Yeah?" I asked him biting my lip, breathing wasn't really a chore anymore.

"Can I come in... or you come out?" Emmett asked his voice was off from the normal goofy tone.

I reached out grasping the gold doorknob turning it slowly I peeled it away from the frame, Emmett stood there his eyes looking dark, not like he needed to hunt because they were butterscotch, no they looked troubled. He held his arms out, moving slower than normal. I dropped the towel I was holding practically running into his arms. I wrapped my short arms around his torso.

"It's okay Bella" His voice was thick, if I didn't know Edward's brother was a vampire I might have been fooled.

"Does.." I stopped from asking my question. "Can we step out of the house, I feel.. uh tight?" I told him trying to describe my feelings.

"Sure, do you want to walk, or me carry your out?" Emmett asked pulling away looking down on me.

"Could you _carry_ me?" I asked him, my voice cracking a little.

Emmett picked me up as if I was a small infant child, the Cullens have told me that Edward was the fastest but their speed felt the same to me. Before I could really think more we were outside my the river. Emmett set me down, I was a little dizzy, he set his hands on my shoulders to steady me.

"Should I call for Jasper?" Emmett asked seriously.

"No, I can walk it off" I told him, he let me walk alongside the water, he took my hand in his the cool of his touch felt nice, he and Edward may have the same tempter but it felt different.

"Is he.. is he upset?" I asked after a few moments of silence. Emmett let out a breath.

"Bela, I.. yeah" He decided to tell my the truth, I never wanted to hurt him, Edward was the sun and my life was the solar system constantly revolving around him.

"I never wanted to hurt him" My voice cracked, a stupid tear made its way out of my eye. I sure as hell didn't want to cry in front of the toughest Cullen. Emmett pulled us to a stop.

"Let's sit" Emmett suggested, we face the trees on the other side of the river, he didn't let go of my hand.

"He isn't upset with you, he is upset that someone hurt you. He loves you, hell we all do. None of us want to see you hurt" Emmett told me, I bet Rosalie did.

"Is Rosalie upset at me?" I asked him, turning to look at his face.

"I think you're underestimating my wife. She isn't made at you either... you should probably talk to her later" Emmett told me, his head jerked over like someone had called his name.

"Bella are you okay to talk to him?" Emmett asked his thick eyebrows were squished together as he gazed at the house behind me.

"Of course" I said standing up but me being me I almost fell backwards, Emmett caught me by my arm giving me a halfhearted smile.

"Should I carry you?" He joked, I just nodded, he swept me up but walked a little faster than a human jog.

"Thank you... Beef Cake" I told him resting my head on his shoulder as we entered the home and Emmett carried me up to the third floor. He set me down in front of Edward's open bedroom door.

"If you need me, just call my name... I will here it" Emmett told me then he was gone, I waited a few moments then walked into the room, I was being wrapped up into cold arms, I tried to pull him so close that we could possibly mold into one person.

"Bella... I.. I'm sorry" Edwards voice broke, his shoulders shook, I could hear his abnormal breathing. Hearing the hurt in his tone made me start to cry with him.

"It's okay, how could you have k-known" I stuttered out, Edward held me closer if that was possible.

"I should've had Alice or someone stay behind with you... or at least had Alice looking into your f-"

"Edward stop" I told him, this was going to be harder then I thought. I pulled away slightly to look at his face, his eyes were boring into my soul.

"It happened before I even met you" I told him, confusion struck his features.

"I don't _understand_ " Edward spoke slowly.

"Let's sit" I suggested just like Emmett had only a few minutes ago. He led me over to his couch sitting me down, our knees touched I turned to face him.

"It happened two years ago, you couldn't have stopped it okay? I don't want you to feel any guilt" I was trying to soothe the pain in his eyes, it was the pain that looks like it would torment the soul.

"I guess I should probably tell you the story. I just don't know how... I've never really told anyone" My voice broke.

"You don't have to, not right now. You have forever to tell me. I want you to tell me when you're comfortable" Edward spoke, his voice husky, I couldn't help but wonder that if he were human is that how his voice would sound when he would first wake up. I don't think I'll ever be "comfortable"

"Okay" I agreed, he leaned down resting his head on my shoulder as my fingers played with his hair.

"I don't want to ever leave" I spoke after a few minutes of silence, I felt safe here.

"Well then don't" Edward told me wrapping his arms around my middle.

"I won't" I whispered laying my head on his own.


	5. alliance

**I didn't add much about the story of Rosalie's past because I figured everyone who was reading this has read Eclipse and I didn't want to be repetitive.**

 **Please review and tell what you think, the good or the bad.**

* * *

I glared at my god like boyfriend from the front seat of his volvo, Alice was talking loudly in the background making grand gestures with her tiny hands, the deep purple circles under his eyes were getting ridiculous not to mention his eye color almost matched his pupil perfectly. We pulled into the driveway of my home well my father's home.

"Oh well, I will see you tomorrow Bella" Alice spoke leaving the car before it was fully parked, I watched as Edward's eyes glared at the way his sister disappeared to fast for human eyes to see her.

"We need to talk" I told him as he shut the car off, he looked over at me his crooked smile in place although his eyes were tight around the edges.

"Humor me, Bella" He told me, even though I was angry it still made my heart flutter when he said my name he exited the car, I exited quickly causing him to pause a few feet from my door his eyebrow raised, I wasn't giving him the gentlemanly satisfaction of opening my car door. We walked silently up to my front door, him unlocking it before I could get the house key out of my bag, I just pushed my way passed him. He shut the door quietly while I turned watching him crossing my arms. He turned around eyeing me humor danced on the corner of his mouth, he walked over to me slowly bending down to kiss me trying to make me forget why I was mad at him, I took a step back. His face went to a mask of complete shock, now I was the one fighting a smile.

"You can't keep avoiding hunting" I told him my voice loosing its edge when I looked into his dark eyes.

"I am not avoiding anything" He told me taking a step forward to ruffle my hair then cupped part of my face, I closed my eyes his touch erasing my headaches.

"Don't lie to me" I told him bringing up one of my hands to hold Edward's hand to my cheek. "I know what happened last time…. It was not fair to you. And I swear I won't let it happen this time" I opened my eyes to see the pain in his, it reminded me of every time the ballet studio incident is brought up, the memory made me shutter the scar tingling. His thumb rubbed my bottom lip.

"I just want things to go back to the same before…" I swallowed down the lump in my throat averting my eyes to the ground where we stood toe to toe.

"I don't want Alice constantly trying to see if I am going to break down, and I would like for Jasper to stop manipulating my emotions every time I am around him. And I wish you would stop treating me like I am a porcelain doll" I told him. These past two weeks have been hard, he never left me alone unless I was in the bathroom. A Cullen was always with me, it was annoying.

"Maybe we could compromise?" Edward asked after a few moments of silence, he let go of my face only to grab my other hand and pull me to the couch where we sat down only for him to pull me into his lap.

"Maybe" I agreed and smiled at him happy I was getting my way.

"I will go hunting if you stay at my house while I am gone and-"

"And?" I asked my eyes going wide, this didn't sound like a compromise it sounded like Edward getting his way.

"You call me when you wake up and when you go to bed" Edward told me kissing my temple softly then pulling away his eyes closed his mouth tight, his chest stopped moving.

"Okay" I agreed as long as he hunted, I wasn't going to let him starve just because I was a mental case. I was just lucky he was with me at this point.

* * *

It was refreshing to see Emmett's face, thus far he was the only person who hasn't treated me differently laughing loudly when I walked in pillow under my arm and backpack slung over my shoulder. I had almost gotten lost on my drive here, Chief Swan wasn't thrilled about me staying the night with Alice, when I had first told him Edward was going camping with his "father" suspected me of lying but then he realized how upset I genuinely was he couldn't wait to push me out of the door, nothing scared Charlie more then teenage emotions.

"Who gets the pleasure of babysitting our lean cuisine?" Emmett has laughed when I walked into the door, I rolled my eyes but smiled at the normalization. Edward has kissed me a little more feverishly then normally making my blood boil pulling away to soon, before I could even get a full breath back into my lungs I was in a Emmett bear hug he laughed I could feel his cold breath on my head he spun me in a few circles and set me down I went to step back but lost my footing because I was dizzy from the spinning Edward caught me by the arm letting out a sharp growl at his favorite brother.

"Don't do anything to funny while we're gone" Emmett teased a dimple forming in his cheek, I glared at him Edward just shook his head this time.

"Be careful Bella" Carlisle told me with a soft smile joining the other boys, with a few more words the boys were gone with a soft wind, I didn't realize Jasper was doing anything to my emotions until he was out of the room a ache started in my chest from Edward's absence. Two days, that is what Edward promised me apparently there was a over population of black bear somewhere north, apparently black bear were not as fun as grizzles according to Emmett.

"How about some nice relaxing girl time?" Alice said suddenly then clapped her hands together.

"Do I really have a choice?" I asked trying to make a joke but not being able to move my eyes away from where Edward left.

I don't understand why it has started to bother me now? I have been able to forget about… him for a few years now and now I felt like he was following me everywhere I went watching.. Waiting. I shuttered away from the thought starting to feel faint.

"Nope" Alice said popping the 'p' dragging me to the couch her cool hand felt good against my sweaty palm.

 _Alice's "girl time"_ wasn't all that bad, I had a green mask on my face with my hair pulled back in a bun it smelled minty and was starting to dry around my eyes. She was painting my fingers a deep blue color going at a human speed. Esme was set beside me sketching something in a notebook even Rosalie seemed to be enjoying herself in the floor flipping through several magazines thanks to Alice. I yawned this caught all of the attention of the vampires in a matter of minutes my nails were dry and Alice was wiping the green mask off of my face telling me that I wouldn't do it right myself. I went to Edward's room to sleep because it smelled faintly like him, Alice left me alone with a long concerned stare (long for a vampire) then closed the door behind her.

I changed into one of Edward's t-shirts and let my hair down setting my pillow on the couch then turned off the lights the moon lighting the room dug pathetically in my bag for my phone pressing a button making the screen light up I quickly dialed Edward's number yawning, I stumbled over to his couch sitting on the cool leather, it felt weird against my bare legs.

"Hello" Edward said on the fifth ring.

"Hey" I said into the phone the ache in my chest gone I unfolded the blanket at the end of the couch covering up with it.

"How are you?" Edward worried over the phone.

"I am fine although Alice painted my nails and that has its drawbacks" I told him then yawned embarrassingly loud causing Edward to laugh.

"I should let you sleep, I miss you" Edward told him, I heard Emmett's voice in the background then I heard Edward growl.

"Don't say that" I told him trying not to get all weepy on him.

"It's true" He told me, before the sadness became more apparent in my voice I needed to end this call.

"Good night, I love you. Bring me home some black bear" I joked and laid back on the pillow.

"Goodnight Bella, sleep well. I wish I could dream right now because I would be dreaming of being with you" Edward told me softly on the phone making my insides melt. I heard Emmett laugh loudly in the background.

"Take your time, but don't take to long. Miss you too" I told him then hung up shoving my phone under my pillow turning to get comfortable I tucked the warm blanket around me. My eyes fell close I could feel my breaths going slower then their was a soft knock on the door.

"Yeah Alice?" I called in a thick voice not bothering opening my eyes, I heard the door open.

"It's me, I uh hope you don't mind" Rosalie spoke, my eyes opened quickly sleep gone out of the window, I was now very awake. "I want to talk with you if you don't mind, I hope I am not imposing" She spoke her voice soft.

"No no no, come in" I told her sitting up my cheeks flushing, she closed the door and joined me on the couch at human speed.

"Has Edward told you about how I became a vampire?" She asked her skin looked even more pale under the moon's light, her face hard to see I knew she could see mine perfectly.

"No he's never mentioned it" I told her, if he did I couldn't remember it, it was hard to think with Rosalie being this nice to me.

"I won't go into graphic detail, but I know what is like to feel alone like you. It has been around seventy odd years and I still sometimes feel like you do or how you did a few weeks. I was in love with the idea of love and this idea almost killed me" She started her face seemed like it was disappearing to a different time.

* * *

I didn't know I was crying until Rosalie reached over and lightly wiped my cheek, her face formed into a perfect frown.

"I know you may not want to talk about it, I respect that. But Emmett has really helped me, talking to him makes it better, Edward is a lot stronger then you give him credit for" Rosalie went on to say.

I could vividly picture her fiancé in my mind, I could smell the alcohol and bad breath I could feel his warm hands on my body I flinched picturing it. And I have been sitting here feeling sorry for myself because one guy… I wasn't going to think about what he did but Rosalie had several men harm her, strip away her pride. How could I hurt when she has hurt much more than me, I felt guilty.

"I killed them all you know?" She asked me a small grin on her face. "I never tasted their blood, I saved Royce for last I even wore a wedding dress" Her laugh filled the room I felt my stomach turn, at least I had stopped crying

"If you want me to kill him Bella I swear to whatever god exists I will" She told me her eyes were easier to see now that my eyes had adjusted to the dark. I swallowed and took a few deep breaths.

"N-no thank you, I don't think that would er help me" I fumbled to choose the right words without offending her.

"I had a hunch you would say that. We're much different yet the same in some ways" She mused, Rosalie was acting more like herself now that she stopped retelling her horror story.

"I should let you sleep now, thanks for listening to my story Bella. I hoped it helps you in some way" Rosalie told me standing up, I felt my blood turn into ice as I panicked. The thoughts of Royce and his friends clouded my brain and in with those faces were now his.

"Please don't" I begged her my voice cracked, she swiftly went over to Edward's stereo I heard cd cases open and the stereo kick on. A soft piano sound came from the speakers calming me a little, reminding me of Edward, she sat in the floor beside my side of the couch.

"It's okay to sleep Bella, I will make sure he doesn't get you. If he even comes fifty miles close to this house I'll kill him" Her voice soothing like a lullaby until she snarled the last part hate filling her tone, I laid down turning and facing her she pulled the covers up.

"Sorry I have been so horrible to you, I will be nicer" She promised me, the room was quiet after that I yawned my sleepiness coming back, the piano made me picture Edward's face instead of the faces of monsters.

"Rosalie?" I asked her my eyes falling closed.

"Yes Bella" She spoke softly.

"Thank you" I told her so quietly I wasn't sure she understood a few moments after that I was quickly asleep.


End file.
